There are people out there who can't be reasoned with.
Huge revelation, I know! These are the individuals who are so entrenched in willful ignorance that no amount of talking or facts presented will sway them. There is always a countering that defies logic and often involves me wondering if that glint in their eye is, in fact, the wheel of insanity turning, turning, turning deep inside them. Discussing politics has ceased to become a mere difference of opinion and has moved into hateful rhetoric and lies versus facts and inclusiveness. I can have a healthy exchange over a difference of opinion. What I can't abide is the spreading of misinformation, outright lies, and divisive speech. I won't react well to someone lying, and then trying to sell me on their lie. I won't react well to someone trying to defend abhorrent behavior as "no big deal." The fact that people I know are buying into the fear and hysteria is sad and disturbing and has been a point of great stress for me lately. People I have to see on a semi-regular basis are being awful online, then acting like all is well in real life. People I haven't spoken to in decades, people who haven't "liked" or commented on a post in the entire time we've been social media friends are coming out of the woodwork to spread misinformation and bigotry. One "friend" even deleted comments that pointed out (with actual facts!) that the meme this person posted was full of false information after the comment got liked and had positive support (from the poster's own friends, not exclusively the commenter's friends.) This follows right along with the new administration's policy of silencing and belittling anyone with a differing opinion, so I'm not sure why I was surprised. Anyway, all of this got me to realize that I, in fact, do not have to put up with those who choose to wallow in their own willful ignorance. I don't have to be pulled into the swamp with them! I can unfriend them!
I know, another huge revelation. I don't have to care what their misinformed opinion is, or whether they even notice or are offended by the social media unfriending. I don't have to care if they gloat that I "just couldn't handle them." *I'm laughing as I write that* I don't have to justify why I marched. (Oh boy. That's an entirely different ranting post.)
Here's what I do have to care about: that I'm informed about the issues up for a vote, that I call, write, or email my representatives, that I donate my money to good causes that are doing wonderful, life-affirming work in this world, that I volunteer in my community, and that I set an example for my girls that while I will be kind, I will not, and do not have to, put up with anyone's ignorant shit. Especially if I've tried to kindly point out that the rhetoric they're listening to and repeating is hurtful, exclusionary and divisive, and they insist on defending it. I will wish them well, and move on from them.
This is probably pretty self evident to most of you, but it took me awhile to come this conclusion, and to be ok with it. I hate confrontation, and we live in a very small town. I don't always have a choice as to who I will be standing next to in line, or sitting near at a volleyball game, or sharing snack bar duties with at the next basketball game. I can, however, be polite and not engage. That's the game plan for now and, fingers crossed, it works.
Carry on friends, and hold the line.
